


Something Better

by Succulint



Series: ShuAke Confidant Week [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Personas (Persona Series), Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Trans Male Character, past transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succulint/pseuds/Succulint
Summary: Upon Akira's request, Goro takes him to visit his mother on the anniversary of her death. Making it the first time his questions have had even an inkling of an answer.ShuAke Confidant Week Day 3- Neglect/Rejection/Death





	Something Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hi here I am, doing this event even though I'm in the middle of a big fic project. This is my first posted work in the P5 fandom, though I have written stuff for it before! .

When Akira first asked him if he could visit his mother with him, Goro was taken aback, but not entirely surprised. He always was someone who did or said things one wouldn’t expect. Usually, Goro would be totally against it, but well, Akira is one of the only people who didn’t immediately reject him when he told him about himself; not to mention it is normal to bring your boyfriend to visit your parents right?

Now, standing over his mother’s grave, flowers in his hand, he is beginning to finally regret his decision to allow Akira to come with him., He always forgets the things that the anniversary of her death makes him feel and think. He doesn’t realize that the tears he has been struggling to hold back have spilled over until he feels Akira wrapping his arms around his waist. “You okay?”

Goro nods, unable to respond in any other way. He places the flowers down on the grave and promptly leaves the site, setting his sights on a bench on the main road. Akira follows quickly behind him, sitting down on the seat and putting an arm on his back when he bends over himself. “I just,” Goro hesitates, unsure of how to explain himself. “I’m scared of what my mother would think if she saw me today.” 

“What do you mean?” Akira’s concerned voice makes Goro regret even bringing it up, not wanting to give him another reason to worry. “What do you think?”

Sitting up finally, Goro stares into the distance, “I could tell that she wanted a daughter you know.” He pauses, “I’m scared that she would feel like I’m taking that away from her.”

Akira inhales sharply beside him, obviously realizing that this is a touchy subject. “I don’t think that you took anything from her.” When he sees Goro’s apprehensive look, he hesitates on saying more, instead placing a hand back between his shoulder blades. 

“I can’t help but think about how she would deal with the knowledge that...” Goro takes a deep breath to hold back his tears, instead straightening his back farther. “With knowing that her daughter isn’t the girl she thought she was.” 

During his time in the foster care system, Goro saw the way that the world truly worked. By the time he realized that he was not the girl that society and everyone around him decided he was, everyone else had already been taught that his very existence was wrong, or just didn’t exist at all. He went through most of his days trying to keep the people around him from finding out what he did behind closed doors, whether that included cutting his hair the very minimum amount to avoid getting in trouble, or tying those bandages around himself tighter to make his chest look flatter, and flatter, and _flatter _. They did eventually find out though, no matter how hard he tried it, because he got desperate after a few months, years, and only grew sloppier with his efforts of hiding himself. After that, even the pitying looks he got from some people turned to disgust, and from that moment on, he was completely and utterly alone. Leading him to try and reject the very person that he was, just like the way others had already done to him. It didn’t work of course, so Goro spent the majority of his teenagers miserable and angry at himself, for not being normal, for not just being the perfect daughter that his mother had always dreamed of having. Maybe then things wouldn’t have turned out for him the way they did, maybe she would still be alive even today.__

__After meeting Akira, these thoughts went away, because Akira taught him how to feel better about himself, even if just a little bit. However it wasn’t enough to get rid of them completely, especially on days like today, where he is reminded of all the ways that life has gone wrong._ _

__“Well I think,” Goro is pulled back into the present when Akira finally figures out a way to contribute to the conversation. “She would be proud of how strong you are.”_ _

__Goro looks down at his fists clenching the legs of his pants, “How could I possibly know that?”_ _

__Akira takes a deep breath, taking both of Goro’s hands in his own and making him face him, “There is no way for us to know for sure.” He leans forward ever so slightly, resting his forehead on Goro’s own. “But she was your mother, and she was nothing like those people you’ve been forced with your whole life.”_ _

__It can’t be anything other than magic that gives Akira the ability to somehow know what Goro is worried about at any given moment, but he finds he cannot be anything other than grateful. Even though he knows that there is no way for him to figure out what his mother would think of him, now he thinks that it might not matter after all. This one day is not enough to get rid of his fears forever, but, for today, it is enough._ _

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested, you can check me out on Twitter @Officially_a_Fan or Tumblr @Nefoe-dd


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